Night Terrors

by remembertoexhale

Every time I see him my dreams are
filled with images of him
the sweet dreams of your image shrouded in sunlight
the light of day having found me finally
have turned into night terrors
taunting me teasing me
harassing me with the parts of you I cannot have
I do not deserve
I do not deserve
I am not able to hold them
my inferiority poking, wrangling my insides
they say that no one can treat you as inferior without you giving them permission
but if this makes my life easier
I give you permission
because then maybe my dreams won’t start out as hopeful sunlight
and turn themselves into violent night terrors
and I don’t need to be lied to or taunted anymore with the sunlight
because endless sunlight makes for deserts
and I am tired of wandering this desert all alone