Neither here nor there

by remembertoexhale

Whenever this happens I can barely move
forward or backwards
I’m stuck
trying to change gears, getting locked
forward is too much of a feat
backward is hell
but right here is nowhere
no push and no pull
this is solid hard as the smallest diamond to crack
because I tried and I failed
but that failure can’t make me fail here
then I will have nothing
on top of my already nothing
but I can’t move
I wish I had someone who could help pull me out 
or help me change gears 
push the car long enough that it starts up on its own
but I have no one
neither here nor there
and I don’t even have a car
somewhere in between
and I’m tired of being in a nowhere place
that’s neither here nor there

and I’m tired of pushing myself out of locked gears