To Granny Great Times

by remembertoexhale

I painted you the flowers
Yesterday Today and Tomorrow
at first I was thinking of this other purple flower
but then I abandoned the idea of  painting from a reference
because I felt like my hand would be more free without pencil lines
to guide me
my dearest grandmother
while I am on the other side of the world
you lay in a hospital bed
doing nothing all day
and I can imagine that you have
nearly a million bunches of flowers
and a million more cards saying “get well soon”
I didn’t write you a get well soon card
because I happen to know that the last time you were visiting
you mentioned death one too many times
I know that you nearly went out wearing a completely see-through shirt
because I was the one who told you you had to wear a camisole
that taking it off and putting one on underneath was confusing for you
that you accidentally soiled yourself
and that when I held your hand to walk around the swimming pool
you labored through it
like it was a real achievement at the end
to my dearest grandmother
I will forever remember you
as the woman who first baked cupcakes with me
made me a whole tuppaware full of them
and iced them  with pink icing because you knew that I loved pink
I will always remember the family Sunday lunches
you cooked so lovingly
and how you never scolded me when I would inevitably
knock over a glass full of cool drink
you started my collection of rose quartz and ornaments
and my love for lavender
and later my all purple room that pa helped me paint
I don’t love lavender anymore
and I don’t own any rose quartz
or have any more shell collections
but I have two jewelry sets
of turquoise and opal
I have a cork bottle of South African beach sand
on my shelf
and a small collection of bottles and vases
I love you ma
I love that the most important thing to you
is family
Ma you taught me about loving in the purest way
you taught me that food
is a way to love people
I painted you the Yesterday Today and Tomorrow flowers
because they change a shade every  day
the first day a dark purple
the second day mauve
and the third day a whitish mauve
but even though the colour fades
they are still as simply beautiful as the first day
just like you
I painted them because I can’t be there to hold your hand
or stroke your hair
but I hope that you always remember
that I painted them because my love for you
will always be
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

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