Me, whenever it comes to sports and dance and anything

by remembertoexhale

My mother, she tells me
I don’t sleep enough
my mother she tells me
I don’t eat when I’m supposed to
she tells me “you only eat when you can”
my mother she tells me
you are not kind to your body
you exercise too much 
its not that you exercise too much
its that when you do 
you do it too hard
she tells me
you are going to be old when hit your thirties
because you don’t listen to your body
you don’t stop before you’re injured
look at you now? pulled muscle and sore heel
how many injuries is that in the past year?
you are setting youself up to fail
but I don’t know how to change it
when I can’t stop until I’m better
until I get to be one of the best
until I’m comparable to the best
I can’t stop because all I see
is what I want to become
and where I am 
and the gap between here and there
and I don’t know if its surpassed the creative outlet stage and gone into
or obsession
or if its just another form of punishing myself
and I don’t know where to stop
because when I want to stop
I see other people carry on
and I feel like a failure
I. can’t. fail.
my body 
is tired
I don’t know how to stop