Eyes like that

by remembertoexhale

I keep waking up from dreams
that haunt me throughout the day
like ghosts of a superior world
dreams of boys, guys, men in my life
that keep ending up in the same room
and here’s the twist
one actually makes a move
and before anything other than that happens
I wake up
sleep deprived, bleary eyed, throat dry
heart beating hard, forehead sweaty
as if my whole dream has been a race with reality
I end up grappling with sleep
because the dreams of kisses seem like
dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams
and from dream to dream I have to convince myself
yes the kiss happened
until reality reigns supreme in the race with dream
and before my dream lets me have any pleasure
of my hand being held
I find myself in a dark cold room
limbs sprawled over sheets
saturated with drippings and leftover images
of dreams I can’t recall
don’t look at me with eyes like that
they hold promises you can’t keep
don’t touch me if you don’t mean it
don’t look at me
with eyes like that
this staring game isn’t fun anymore
you always blink first and walk away
and I have lived far too long
on looks, slight touches
and the memories of kisses
that don’t mean anything