words

by remembertoexhale

The words are splayed across the page
in long and uneven shapes
and I can hardly read them 
for fear that they come to life
in my mouth and my stomach
and the butterflies that 
I thought I put to death with the last love I had
come rearing and fully alive
slapping the walls of my stomach
with such force that I nearly keel over.
Three words eight skinny and fat letters
splayed across the page
and I read them over and over
testing out different tones on my tongue
feeling them wash over my skin
and I am learning to accept them
I am learning to hold them in my hands
and not put them away in a box with the others 
so carefully kept that I could hardly feel them
I test them out loud, practicing saying them out loud
so that when I see you next
they won’t come out in a hiccup 
or a croak
but in a clear audible voice
that you can too hold in your hands 
and taste in your mouth 

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