Remember to Exhale

find some release

next

I just need some time
I am shedding you like baby teeth
just a few more to go
losing you doesn’t hurt as much as it did

all I wanted was your love

breathing deeply
I can feel you watch me as I enter the room
I can feel your eyes on me
when I mention the word “love”

I didn’t hit you in the gut
you never let me feel you anyway
the nights come and they aren’t so long anymore

twist and fit
you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries
and I want hot chocolate on a rainy day

I just need some time
I am shedding you like baby teeth
just a few more to go
losing you doesn’t hurt as much as it did

all I wanted was your love

next one fall, fall, fall, fall harder
break them loose ahead of time

Hold me

the edges of my heart fold and crumble
they tear at the seams
the words are always at the tip of my tongue
they almost flutter out of my mouth
the vessel that releases the contents of my heart
and I want them to flutter out accidentally
I want them to escape
I want to accidentally kiss you
accidentally kiss your jawline
or lay my had on your chest
do it by mistake
draw back
and run away
and in my mind you might be confused
and you might never talk to me
or when I inevitably apologise
you might pull me towards you
and in your arms I will stay
darling I will never leave your arms
if you just hold me

as soon as you realise that you are here and important, you stop running after people and you realise that if they cared they would make the effort. If he wanted to see you, he would find a way to get to you.

some things about my life just make me want to cry

I want to write and make music that sounds simple yet detailed and intricate in places. I want the lyrics to have weight and I want it to sound relevant to right now, but also, relevant for a long time to come.

I need to keep a check on my emotions and not get too excited

Journal

My mom just mentioned earlier tonight that the last time I was in SA (December) my brother was concerned about me saying I was “getting fat” and “she has no vision” and she said that I seem to be in a better space now. But honestly I don’t  know, I may be fitter but I still don’t have any idea what I want to do and I honestly don’t feel like doing anything at all.

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