Remember to Exhale

find some release

I need to keep a check on my emotions and not get too excited


My mom just mentioned earlier tonight that the last time I was in SA (December) my brother was concerned about me saying I was “getting fat” and “she has no vision” and she said that I seem to be in a better space now. But honestly I don’t  know, I may be fitter but I still don’t have any idea what I want to do and I honestly don’t feel like doing anything at all.


Your hands shape the chords
and your heart shapes the sound
and at the end of the day
you are just a man
flesh and blood and thoughts and emotions
but just man

I guess it takes a tortured soul
to see another

This Song

Just a floating entity
swept up in riff raff
and the glamorization thereof
walking taller among the teetering heels
and my fingers shake
and my chest throbs
and my back hurts
and I am unsure of how tall I stand
my ten buck tennis shoes don’t give much support
but neither do my leather oxfords
sometimes love has all the right ingredients
and no one to mix them
God, I could have loved you with my whole
heart all of me
Just a floating entity
independent of any identity
but every time you speak to me
you have me on my knees
and all I need is just one kiss
if you would be so kind as to give me this
I could tell if we would be a hit or a miss
then I would be able to move along
and I wouldn’t need to sing this song


That single button that can change everything
the vessel that carries the most unimportant messages
the cursor flashing, waiting for your finger to pluck up the courage to
hit send on the ones that matter
and as time slows
you think the cursor slows also
the minutes tick by
and you wonder if “I Love you”
is appropriate facebook message material
and nothing worth saying is worth instant texting
nothing is really instant isn’t it though?
instant noodles take two minutes
instant coffee takes the time it takes for the kettle to boil
love takes more than an instant to garner
and instant messaging may get an instant reply
but it doesn’t close the distance
an least at all those goodbyes on the thread
are also open to “hellos” once again

Always and Forever

I want to feel that ache in my bones when a hear a name
I want to feel fingers slide down my shoulders
linger on my bra-straps a silent question I do not answer
I want to feel a large hand grab mine and pull it
with the urgency of wanting to show me the world and
have us both see it through new eyes
I want to feel my insides knot when his peer into mine
I want to love with my whole heart
say “always”
and have him say


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